Save the dates are the first official piece of communication most guests receive about your wedding — and there’s more strategy behind them than most couples realize. Send them too early and guests file them away and forget. Send them too late and people have already made conflicting plans. This guide walks through every rule, timing question, and wording scenario so you can handle save the dates with confidence.
Save the Date Etiquette Quick Reference
- Local wedding timing: 6-8 months before the date
- Destination wedding timing: 8-12 months before the date
- Who gets one: Everyone invited to the wedding — no exceptions
- Plus-ones: Only include them if they’re invited to the wedding
- Engagement length: Send once you have a confirmed venue and date
- What to include: Both names, date, city/location, “Formal invitation to follow”
- What to skip: Full venue address, dress code, registry info
- Digital vs physical: Physical still preferred; digital fine for casual events
- QR codes: Great for linking to wedding website with travel info
Who Gets a Save the Date?
The rule is simple: anyone you plan to invite to the wedding gets a save the date. No exceptions, no gray areas. Sending a save the date is a commitment — you are essentially telling that person they have a spot at your wedding. If there’s any chance they won’t make the final guest list, do not send them a save the date.
This matters more than it seems. Guests who receive a save the date may book flights, arrange childcare, or request time off work. If they’re later dropped from the guest list, that’s a serious social misstep that can damage relationships.
Common situations that trip couples up:
- “We might invite them depending on budget”: Don’t send one yet. Wait until you’ve finalized your guest list.
- Work colleagues: Only send save the dates to colleagues you’re definitely inviting. Your guest list may shift, but save the dates lock you in.
- Children: If the wedding is adults-only, send the save the date to parents only. You’ll clarify the adults-only policy when the formal invitation arrives.
Timing: When to Send Save the Dates
Local and regional weddings: Send 6-8 months before the wedding date. This gives guests adequate time to mark their calendars and arrange any necessary travel without being so far in advance that the date loses urgency.
Destination weddings: Send 8-12 months in advance. International travel, passport renewals, passport cards, accommodation booking, and time-off requests all take time. The earlier you send, the better. See our full guide to save the date timing for a complete breakdown by wedding type.
Holiday weekends: If your wedding falls on or near a major holiday — Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving weekend — send save the dates even earlier. Guests often plan holiday weekends months in advance.
Short engagements: If your engagement is less than 6 months, skip the save the date entirely and go straight to invitations with extra lead time. A save the date sent only 4-6 weeks before the wedding serves no real purpose.
Long engagements (18+ months): Send the save the date at the 8-12 month mark before the wedding, not the day you get engaged. Sending it 18 months out is too early — people can’t realistically plan that far ahead, and many will simply forget.
What to Include on a Save the Date
Keep it simple. The save the date is not the invitation — it exists only to reserve the date. Required information:
- Both names (and/or engagement photo)
- The wedding date
- General location (city and state, or destination country)
- “Formal invitation to follow” or “Invitation to follow”
- Wedding website URL (optional but highly recommended)
What to leave off the save the date:
- Full venue address (that goes on the invitation)
- Start time
- Dress code
- Registry information
- RSVP instructions (save the dates don’t require RSVPs)
If your wedding website is live, include the URL. Guests traveling from out of town will immediately start researching accommodation, and a website with hotel blocks and travel tips is enormously helpful from the moment they receive the save the date.
Wording: Formal, Casual, and Destination
Formal:
“Please save the date for the wedding of
[Name] and [Name]
[Date] | [City, State]
Formal invitation to follow”
Modern/Casual:
“Save the date!
[Name] + [Name] are getting married
[Month Day, Year] — [City, State]
More details coming soon”
Destination wedding:
“We’re getting married in [Location]!
Please save the date: [Month Day, Year]
[City, Country]
Visit [website] for travel details and accommodation
Formal invitation to follow”
With engagement photo:
Let the photo do the visual work. Keep text minimal: names, date, location, website URL. The photo conveys tone and personality better than words.
For more wording inspiration across styles and formats, 50 save the date ideas guide.
Plus-Ones on Save the Dates
This is where couples make costly mistakes. The rule: only include a plus-one on the save the date if that person is definitely invited to the wedding.
If a guest’s partner is on your guest list, address the save the date to both of them by name: “Sarah Lin and David Kim.” Do not use “and Guest” unless you genuinely don’t know the partner’s name.
If a guest is single and you haven’t decided whether to give them a plus-one, address the save the date to them alone. You can add a plus-one later on the formal invitation if your headcount allows for it. Removing a plus-one after the save the date has been sent is awkward and hurtful.
If a guest is in a long-term relationship and you plan to give them a plus-one, try to find out the partner’s name before sending the save the date. A quick message to a mutual friend or family member is worth the effort.
Destination Wedding Save the Date Etiquette
Destination weddings carry additional responsibilities for the couple. Send save the dates at the 8-12 month mark, and include:
- Your wedding website URL with full travel information
- The general destination (city and country at minimum)
- A note about accommodation blocks if they’re already arranged
For international destinations, add a note about passport requirements if relevant: “Please ensure your passport is valid for at least 6 months beyond our wedding date.” It’s a small detail that saves guests a last-minute scramble.
Consider sending a separate “accommodation and travel” card alongside the save the date for destination weddings. This is becoming standard practice and is enormously appreciated by guests planning international travel. destination save the date collection for designs built for travel-themed announcements.
Digital vs. Physical Save the Dates
The same principles that apply to invitations apply here. Physical save the dates are still the standard for formal weddings and any event where you want guests to treat the date as a genuine commitment. They’re tangible reminders that guests can put on the fridge — and that’s exactly the point.
Digital save the dates work well for:
- Casual or informal weddings
- Environmentally-conscious couples
- Destination weddings where you need to supplement physical cards with immediate travel information
- Budget-constrained situations where print + postage add up
A practical middle path: send physical save the dates to all guests, then follow up with a digital communication (email or wedding website notification) that includes direct links to accommodation blocks, travel guides, and the online RSVP portal.
QR Codes on Save the Dates
QR codes on save the dates are increasingly common and widely accepted. A small QR code that links to your wedding website is practical — guests can immediately access travel info, accommodation links, and your wedding story without having to type a URL.
Design tips for QR codes:
- Place in a corner, not as a centerpiece of the design
- Make sure it’s large enough to scan easily (at least 1 inch x 1 inch)
- Test the QR code thoroughly before finalizing your print order
- Use a URL shortener with a custom slug (e.g., weddingwire.com/[yourname]) for a cleaner look
When NOT to Send Save the Dates
Not every wedding needs a save the date. Skip them when:
- Your engagement is under 4-5 months: Go straight to invitations with extra lead time
- Your guest list is very small (under 20): A personal call or text covers it adequately
- You haven’t finalized the venue or date: Never send a save the date without a confirmed date — if things change, you’ll have to un-save the date, which is confusing and awkward
- Venue capacity is uncertain: If your guest list is still in flux, wait until it’s stable
Full Save the Date Collection to find the right design for your style, from modern minimalist to floral and botanical. Also worth exploring: date designs for coastal and island weddings. For guidance on how to address your save complete addressing guide.