For three little words, it can take newly-engaged couples hours to find the right way to phrase this concept: a concept that is gaining validity in this modern standard of de facto relationships. Your home is already set up, and small. You don’t really need two toasters, four fruit plates and a gold-trimmed gravy boat. A contribution to your honeymoon, to your future, or even your favourite charity would go so much further.

So, how do you say, ‘no gifts, please?’ or anything a little awkward, for that matter? Maybe your venue doesn’t suit the littlest of guests, or your guest list is tight, and no, your cousin’s boyfriend of two months can’t come. How do you strike that balance between being firm, but polite; grateful, yet selective; strict, yet flexible? Here are a few different ways you can approach getting your point across on your wedding invitations.

The poem approach

Writing a cute, small poem in your invitation is a great, gentle way to say ‘no gifts, please’. If you’re worried about setting rules and appearing a bit strict or ungracious, a simple poem can get your point across in a friendly way.

For example

For five years, we’ve been building our home and our life,

with toasters, and vases and each type of knife,

So, rather than you scouring a store

(Which is a painful and endless, tiring bore),

We ask that you donate a note or two

To make our honeymoon wishes finally come true.

Don’t worry, you don’t need to be Keats. People aren’t going to judge if your imagery isn’t quite there. It’s cute, and most importantly, memorable. So, when your guests are walking past the crystal display at the local shopping centre, they’ll remember that poem and keep on walking.

That being said, the poem approach is only appropriate for concepts that aren’t likely to cause friction. It is probably not the best approach for things such as: ‘no children’, ‘no plus-ones’ or ‘accommodation is not included in this destination wedding’.

Pros: A cute and light-hearted way of setting some rules. Can be a fun exercise with your partner.

Cons: If you’re not so good with…you know…the words, this can be tricky.

The personalised note

When you have to deliver some rules that are non-negotiable, it’s a good idea to send the guest a personalised note either alongside the invitation, or separately, but posted at the same time. For a concept such as ‘No gifts, please’, this may be overzealous…unless you have a family member that always insists on buying you things that are hideous and bulky.

Rules such as ‘no children, please’ require a little more delicate handling. If you’re on a budget, or the location really isn’t suitable for kids, just be gentle, but clear. Address this from the get-go, to mitigate the chance of an awkward phone call later on. Even though this is your day, it’s best to explain your reasons. Because chances are, they’re entirely reasonable, or necessary.

For example:

Dear ____&_____,
____ and I are really hoping that you two can make it to the wedding. While we would love to have the whole family there, unfortunately, we feel the venue isn’t suitable for little ___ and ___. We want you to have the best day possible, and to not have to worry about their whereabouts. We understand getting a babysitter can be difficult, but we’d really love it if you could both be a part of our day. Xx

Pros: Who doesn’t like a personalised note? If you’re denying your guest something (such as a plus-one, or for their kids to be present), a personalised note demonstrates that you’ve really considered their position, and that you value their presence at your wedding.

Cons: Can be time consuming if you’ve got a bunch of friends with requests.

The humour approach

The humour approach should only be used if you know your audience. For example, if you have a couple of conservative family members, writing a joke in your ‘no gifts, please’ memo about how you shacked up with your partner ages ago and “please don’t buy us any crap” is going to fall flat. Really flat. Like, RSVPing ‘no’ flat. But if you’re comfortable cracking a joke with your guests, go for it. Sometimes delivering awkward news in a funny way really does soften the impact.

For example:

___and I are so excited to see you on our wedding day. For those of you wanting to get us a gift, that’s very sweet of you, but please don’t. For the love of God, don’t. ___ and I both had a toaster when we moved in together…and we both refuse to give ours up.
So, if you would like to give us a gift, we would really appreciate a small donation to our honeymoon wishing well, so we can negotiate our toaster situation over a couple of daiquiris in Hawaii.

Pros: Using humour can really diffuse tricky situations, delivering information in a straightforward, but light-hearted way.

Cons: If your joke falls flat, that can be really awkward. Maybe test your material out on colleagues or friends’ partners (anyone too close to you will automatically like it).

Straight-up

The most direct option, of course, is to just include it in the body of your invitation text. If you’re going for the bold approach, however, it still pays to be polite. Don’t be too abrupt. Rather, explain your terms as succinctly as possible.

For example:

In lieu of wrapped gifts, we would greatly appreciate a donation be made on the night to our future fund.

Try to avoid the terms ‘we request’ when suggesting a cash donation to a treasure chest. Gifts, although the social norm for weddings, are never a 100% certainty. So, to ‘request a donation’ may come across as rude. It’s also worth adding some mention of appreciation, to acknowledge that a gift is a lovely gesture, not a requirement. Adding ‘wrapped’ to the front of gifts also subtly distinguishes between monetary gifts and objects.

Whatever your approach, delivering a message such as ‘no gifts, please’ needn’t be a painful experience, nor does it require an intense brainstorming session with your partner.

Remember, it’s your special day. Those people marked on your guestlist only want to contribute to, and share in, your happiness.

Still looking for a venue for your hens, bucks, or GASP, wedding?! Venuemob can help >>

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Write a shortlist of must-haves.

When finding a unique venue for your event, a solid first step is determining what you classify as ‘unique’. This can be as simple as “somewhere that’s new”, or “a venue with a nice view”. ‘Unique’ can mean whatever you want it to. Then, work out what’s really important to you. Do you want somewhere in the city, by the beach, or surrounded by greenery? Roughly how many people will be there? What’s your absolute price ceiling?

Once you’ve worked out the concrete requirements, you can go about finding a unique venue that will set your event apart from all others.

The internet is your friend

Blogs, website, publications, there are plenty of resources online to help you locate unique venues. Take inspiration from blog posts about previous events. Read about venue showcases in publications by the events industry. Using a website like Venuemob can help you to cut out hours in Googling and scrolling. You can input your specifications, like budget, capacity, venue type (including unique venues). Drawing from the more than 3500 venues on the site, you’ll be given a list of venues that match your criteria. You can even enquire with the venue from the site, all the way through to booking. Simple!

Think outside the box

It may sound cliched, but this is a dynamite place to start when you’re finding a unique venue.

Whether you’re planning a private social event, or corporate extravaganza, you don’t need to play by the rules.

Want to host a corporate event with a focus on the activity? Work your way backwards! There are venues out there that offer activities as varied as dolphin feeding, indoor skydiving, you can even hire out an entire theme park.

If you’re not into formal set menus or canapes, consider holding your event somewhere where a couple of exclusively booked food trucks can roll up. If you’re a nature lover, opt for a marquee in the grounds of a garden, by a beach or in a field somewhere (check with local councils first, of course!). Even if you simply see a space that you think, “That could be good,” it doesn’t hurt to ask! You’d be surprised by the type of venues that actually cater for events. Museums, zoos, warehouses, even aquariums often offer tailored function packages.

Of course, you want to ensure your guests have a good time. Go one step further, what do you want your guests to be talking about the next day?

Blank is beautiful

The most unique venues can be those that are covered in your personal touch. Blank spaces, such as galleries, halls, marquees and warehouses are a great option for those with a healthy creative streak. Venuemob has quite an extensive list of blank canvas venues. Going full-on DIY can be a lot of fun. Decorating, lighting, AV, anything that the space allows for, you can design and choose. The beauty of using a blank space is every touch and flourish you add will really pop and draw focus.

If you’re worried about your guests going hungry or thirsty, don’t! You can either utilise blank venues that catering companies exclusively service, or you can look for a caterer that will come to you. Any catering company worth their salt will go over everything with you, and help tailor your menu.

It’s important to remember though, that DIY isn’t necessarily a cheaper option. Bricks and mortar venues have the advantage of being able to purchase in bulk, have established equipment, or are able to negotiate lower rate with contractors due to repeat business.

Once you’ve found your unique venue, that’s the hardest part done. From there, each element will begin to fall into place. And soon, you’ll be enjoying your event with your guests, and the planning process will seem like a distant memory.

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Food

Cocktail: Cocktail-style events are making a real resurgence. Traditionally seated dinner events, such as weddings, are no longer confined to set menus only. And worrying about there not being enough food if it’s a standing style event is a myth, as long as you’re realistic about how much you need to order.

A really popular option for cocktail events are grazing stations. They can be themed to a particular cuisine, or your event. Plus, it’s an interactive experience, and guests get to choose how much, or little, they eat. And if you’re having an event with a sizeable outdoor space, another option is hiring a food truck or three for the day.

The ultimate benefit of choosing a cocktail-style menu, however, lies in the potential savings. Cocktail-style menus are traditionally cheaper. The quality is still there, but canapes are quicker to produce, use slightly less ingredients, and typically require less equipment and labour, so the price naturally drops.

Seated: Some may not perceive a cocktail event being as formal as a seated affair. If your aim is opulence, seated is probably the best way to go, with personalised place settings and elaborate centrepieces. Sit-down events, with careful planning, can also allow for a more relaxed atmosphere. They also typically have a longer duration than cocktail events.

As opposed to a cocktail event with a multitude of different items coming out of the kitchen at different times, a plated menu can come off a production line and be delivered in unison. It can be easier to keep track of and cater to dietary requirements. There’s also that guaranteed degree of even distribution. That is, you can safely assume that everyone has been fed a sizeable portion.

Entertainment

Cocktail: Cocktail events are quite flexible when it comes to what sort of entertainment can fit in the space without restricting movement. If there’s a DJ, everywhere not occupied by furniture can be a dancefloor.

With people on their feet and moving about, you can set up entertainment stations. Photo booths are a good option, as are fun lawn games if you have an outdoor space. Bocce, giant Jenga and ring toss are fun and easy to set up ways to keep guests, little or big, entertained.

Seated: The main challenge with having entertainment at a seated event is arranging the space. With careful planning, however, you can set up the room to flow smoothly. Seated events can be the more suitable option for events that require speeches or a presentation. Seated guests are more likely to pay attention as they’ll have sight of the speaker, or screen. One of the issues with cocktail events and presentations is that the guests are scattered, and thus are less likely to pay attention because they can’t see.

For family events especially, seated events are necessary to cater for the older members of the family. Nanna may want to get on the dancefloor, but chances are she’s going to want to sit down after 20 minutes.

The space

Cocktail: When setting up, it’s important to keep in mind the location of things like grazing, or self-service stations, high bar tables, the accessibility of the bar, and lounging areas.

You want guests to be able to move around the space without missing out on food or drinks. Roving waiters plus self-service stations ensure that all guests have adequate access to snacks. The same goes for the bar. Make sure the bar is staffed adequately to serve multiple people at once. Nothing annoys a guest more than waiting 20 minutes for a drink.

Spaces most suited to cocktail events include: rooftop bars, outdoor spaces, galleries and warehouses, typically spaces where you would have to fork out for table and chair hire.

Seated: The more people you need to seat, the narrower your choices of where to host your event are going to be. If your budget allows for it, one hot trend is hiring a unique space, such as a barn, or hangar. These are a good option if you want to have total control over how your event looks. All it takes are some decorations, table and chair hire and a catering company.

You need to pick a venue that utilises the space well. People will want to visit other tables, so you don’t want your guests to have to shimmy along and disturb other guests as they pass. You also want to opt for a venue that allows for an adequate dance floor or outdoor space. The majority of the event may be seated, but that doesn’t mean guests won’t want to get up for a boogie or pop out for some fresh air.

Spaces most suited to a seated event include: hotel function spaces and ballrooms, function centres, unique blank spaces, and restaurants.

There are obviously a lot of factors to consider when choosing and planning for either a cocktail or seated style event. The best place to start is consider what’s important to you, what can you afford, and then work backwards from there.

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