{"id":7127,"date":"2018-04-10T18:56:56","date_gmt":"2018-04-10T08:56:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/paperlust.co\/blog\/?p=7127"},"modified":"2022-08-31T12:04:47","modified_gmt":"2022-08-31T02:04:47","slug":"no-gifts-please-how-to-phrase-difficult-concepts-in-wedding-invitations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paperlust.co\/blog\/no-gifts-please-how-to-phrase-difficult-concepts-in-wedding-invitations\/","title":{"rendered":"‘No gifts please’ \u2013 how to phrase difficult concepts in wedding invitations"},"content":{"rendered":"

No gifts, please. Please. Please? <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

For three little words, it can take newly-engaged couples hours to find the right way to phrase this concept: a concept that is gaining validity in this modern standard of de facto relationships. Your home is already set up, and small<\/em>. You don\u2019t really need two toasters, four fruit plates and a gold-trimmed gravy boat. A contribution to your honeymoon, to your future, or even your favourite charity would go so much further.<\/p>\n

So, how do you say \u2013 \u2018no gifts, please?\u2019 or anything a little awkward, for that matter? Maybe your venue doesn\u2019t suit the littlest of guests, or your guest list is tight, and no, your cousin\u2019s boyfriend of two months can\u2019t come. How do you strike that balance between being firm, but polite; grateful, yet selective; strict, yet flexible? Here are a few different ways you can approach getting your point across on your wedding invitations<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The poem approach<\/h2>\n

Writing a cute, small poem in your invitation is a great, gentle way to say \u2018no gifts, please\u2019. If you\u2019re worried about setting rules and appearing a bit strict or ungracious, a simple poem can get your point across in a friendly way.<\/p>\n

For example<\/em><\/h3>\n

For five years, we\u2019ve been building our home and our life,<\/p>\n

with toasters, and vases and each type of knife,<\/p>\n

So, rather than you scouring a store<\/p>\n

(Which is a painful and endless, tiring bore),<\/p>\n

We ask that you donate a note or two<\/p>\n

To make our honeymoon wishes finally come true.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry, you don\u2019t need to be Keats. People aren\u2019t going to judge if your imagery isn\u2019t quite <\/em>there. It\u2019s cute, and most importantly \u2013 memorable<\/strong>. So, when your guests are walking past the crystal display at the local shopping centre, they\u2019ll remember that poem and keep on walking.<\/p>\n

That being said, the poem approach is only appropriate for concepts that aren\u2019t likely to cause friction. It is probably not the best approach for things such as: \u2018no children\u2019, \u2018no plus-ones\u2019 or \u2018accommodation is not included in this destination wedding\u2019.<\/p>\n

Pros:<\/strong> A cute and light-hearted way of setting some rules. Can be a fun exercise with your partner.<\/p>\n

Cons:<\/strong> If you\u2019re not so good with…you know…the words, this can be tricky.<\/p>\n

\"how<\/a><\/p>\n

The personalised note<\/h2>\n

When you have to deliver some rules that are non-negotiable, it\u2019s a good idea to send the guest a personalised note either alongside the invitation, or separately, but posted at the same time. For a concept such as \u2018No gifts, please\u2019, this may be overzealous…unless you have a family member that always insists on buying you things that are hideous and bulky.<\/p>\n

Rules such as \u2018no children, please\u2019 require a little more delicate handling. If you\u2019re on a budget, or the location really isn\u2019t suitable for kids, just be gentle, but clear. Address this from the get-go, to mitigate the chance of an awkward phone call later on. Even though this is your <\/em>day, it\u2019s best to explain your reasons. Because chances are, they\u2019re entirely reasonable, or necessary.<\/p>\n

For example<\/em>:<\/h3>\n

Dear ____&_____,
\n____ and I are really hoping that you two can make it to the wedding. While we would love to have the whole family there, unfortunately, we feel the venue isn\u2019t suitable for little ___ and ___. We want you to have the best day possible, and to not have to worry about their whereabouts. We understand getting a babysitter can be difficult, but we\u2019d really love it if you could both be a part of our day. Xx<\/p>\n

Pros:<\/strong> Who doesn\u2019t like a personalised note? If you\u2019re denying your guest something (such as a plus-one, or for their kids to be present), a personalised note demonstrates that you\u2019ve really considered their position, and that you value their presence at your wedding.<\/p>\n

Cons:<\/strong> Can be time consuming if you\u2019ve got a bunch of friends with requests.<\/p>\n

The humour approach<\/h2>\n

The humour approach should only be used if you know your audience. For example, if you have a couple of conservative family members, writing a joke in your \u2018no gifts, please\u2019 memo about how you shacked up with your partner ages ago and \u201cplease don\u2019t buy us any crap\u201d is going to fall flat. Really flat. Like, RSVPing \u2018no\u2019 flat. But if you\u2019re comfortable cracking a joke with your guests \u2013 go for it. Sometimes delivering awkward news in a funny way really does soften the impact.<\/p>\n

For example<\/em>:<\/h3>\n

___and I are so excited to see you on our wedding day. For those of you wanting to get us a gift, that\u2019s very sweet of you, but please don\u2019t. For the love of God, don\u2019t. ___ and I both had a toaster when we moved in together…and we both refuse to give ours up.
\nSo, if you would like to give us a gift, we would really appreciate a small donation to our honeymoon wishing well, so we can negotiate our toaster situation over a couple of daiquiris in Hawaii.<\/p>\n

Pros:<\/strong> Using humour can really diffuse tricky situations, delivering information in a straightforward, but light-hearted way.<\/p>\n

Cons:<\/strong> If your joke falls flat, that can be really awkward. Maybe test your material out on colleagues or friends\u2019 partners (anyone too close to you will automatically like it).<\/p>\n

\"how<\/a><\/p>\n

Straight-up<\/h2>\n

The most direct option, of course, is to just include it in the body of your invitation text. If you\u2019re going for the bold approach, however, it still pays to be polite. Don\u2019t be too abrupt. Rather, explain your terms as succinctly as possible.<\/p>\n

For example:<\/em><\/h3>\n

In lieu of wrapped gifts, we would greatly appreciate a donation be made on the night to our future fund.<\/p>\n

Try to avoid the terms \u2018we request\u2019 when suggesting a cash donation to a treasure chest. Gifts, although the social norm for weddings, are never a 100% certainty. So, to \u2018request a donation\u2019 may come across as rude. It\u2019s also worth adding some mention of appreciation, to acknowledge that a gift is a lovely gesture, not a requirement. Adding \u2018wrapped\u2019 to the front of gifts also subtly distinguishes between monetary gifts and objects.<\/p>\n

Whatever your approach, delivering a message such as \u2018no gifts, please\u2019 needn\u2019t be a painful experience, nor does it require an intense brainstorming session with your partner.<\/p>\n

Remember, it\u2019s your special day. Those people marked on your guestlist only want to contribute to, and share in, your happiness.<\/p>\n

Still looking for a venue for your hens, bucks, or GASP, wedding?! Venuemob can help >><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Website:<\/strong> https:\/\/venuemob.com.au\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Facebook:<\/strong> https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/venuemob\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Instagram:<\/strong> https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/venuemob\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Twitter:<\/strong> https:\/\/twitter.com\/venuemob<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No gifts, please. Please. Please? For three little words, it can take newly-engaged couples hours to find the right way to phrase this concept: a concept that is gaining validity in this modern standard of de facto relationships. Your home is already set up, and small. You don\u2019t really need two toasters, four fruit plates …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":7130,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116,83],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7127","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wedding-invitation-wording","category-wedding-invite-blogs"],"yoast_head":"\n'No gifts please' \u2013 how to phrase difficult concepts in wedding invitations - Paperlust<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/paperlust.co\/blog\/no-gifts-please-how-to-phrase-difficult-concepts-in-wedding-invitations\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"'No gifts please' \u2013 how to phrase difficult concepts in wedding invitations - Paperlust\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"No gifts, please. 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